no longer alone
by wolfie22
Summary: Carol didn't stick around after Terminus, but a year on her own was making her regret her decision. Aaron and Eric seemed like trustworthy people. Maybe Alexandria would be a chance to start over. (different take on the infamous reunion - eventual Caryl)
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I keep wondering what it would be like if Carol hadn't reunited after Terminus, so I finally decided to write something. Please be gentle, I don't write often.

* * *

"As much as I love recruiting with you, I really wish you had taken Daryl on this one." Eric looked out the window of the old station wagon as the rain pelted down.

"You're the one who said you wanted to get out for a bit," Aaron chucked as he spread the blanket over himself and his partner.

Eric had gotten a little stir-crazy being stuck in Alexandria with his bum ankle, but the initial injury had given way to Aaron's protective nature, and this was the first time in over a year that Eric was outside of the walls on a recruiting mission.

Aaron and Eric had left Alexandira two days ago for a simple scouting of the nearby area and had immediately noticed that someone was close. They were about 300 miles out from their community when they noticed the remnants of a fire. The survivor must have heard them coming and moved quickly; half a rabbit was left behind in the stomped-out coals.

Their search for the potential new resident came to a halt as the sky opened and the rain began to pour. The pair ran back to the vehicle and prepared to wait out the downpour.

"I think Daryl needed a break," Aaron was setting up the listening device, even though the chances of hearing anyone over the rain was slim, "Rick has him on babysitting duty for a few days, I think it'll be good for him."

Eric gave up on the binoculars and burrowed deeper under the blanket, "Maybe we'll get lucky and find another group like theirs."

Though it had been a rough start, especially when Rick and Daryl had found out about Pete and Jessie, Rick and his group had become leaders. After Reg and Pete had been killed, the community had taken quite a while to warm to the idea of upping the security and trusting these newcomers. Maggie and Deanna worked seamlessly together, Rick and Michonne were extremely well respected now, and even Eugene had become an integral member of the community.

They haven't had any new members since Morgan's arrival over a year ago.

Since Daryl and Aaron had gotten trapped by the wolves and then saved by Morgan, the scouting missions had been few and far between. Time had been better spent reinforcing the walls in case of an attack. Thankfully, the last year had gone quite smoothly, and they felt that they were in a good position to defend themselves in a worst case scenario.

This fire was the first sign of a living person that they had come across in a long time, and they weren't going to lose him or her.

* * *

Rainy nights were the worst.

That was the only thought going through Carol's mind as she curled herself into a ball and tucked herself under her tarp. Sleeping on the ground always made her nervous. With no one to watch her back, sleep was nearly impossible to come by.

Carol had gotten quite used to sleeping in trees, which is another reason that rainy nights were the worst. The potential for lightning made it too much of a risk to strap herself onto a limb and settle down for the night, so now she sat, huddled under her tarp as she leaned against the rocks.

She had found a small cut in the rocks, not big enough to be classified as a cave, but big enough to keep her relatively dry on bad nights. It didn't do much for her claustrophobia though, so her mind began to wander.

Though she had decided that being alone was best, it was nights like this that made her wish she had a proper roof over her head and someone else to keep watch while she slept. The insomnia made the memories come out in full force, and she found herself thinking of Sophia, Lizzie, Mika, and the family that she had run from.

After watching her family climb over the Terminus fence, Carol had run to Tyreese, given him Daryl's crossbow and Rick's watch, and told him to be safe. She would never forget the look of shock on his face or the way he shouted after her as she ran into the woods.

 _Don't look back._

That had been her mantra. She had been tempted to run back several times, but just kept telling herself not to look back. After Lizzie and Mika, she had discovered that she couldn't take anymore death.

Watching Rick, Glenn, Bob and Daryl being dragged from that container had caused an unbearable feeling of anger to bubble to the surface, and Terminus had paid the price. If she had to watch them die, she knew she wouldn't have recovered.

She just couldn't do it anymore.

Over the past year she had encountered a couple of small groups of survivors, but she never stayed. Her longest stay had been about a month, but the inevitable had happened. The herd ripped through the camp and they were all forced to flee. She found a car and returned a few days later to grab some remaining supplies, but when she noticed no signs of survivors, she drove off alone.

She mostly avoided as many people as she could, which is why this area was her favourite. She had been moving around the general area for a week or so and had yet to come across another living person. Her hand drifted to the bandaged cut on her forehead, a souvenir from her last encounter with the living, and remembered that sometimes it's better to be alone. Over the past month, the loneliness began to eat away at her, but the group of men that she'd stumbled upon a couple of weeks ago were not the remedy for that plague. There weren't a lot of good people left in this world, and sometimes she kicked herself for letting go of some of the best.

Her thoughts drifted to the people that had driven by earlier that day. She had heard the car coming through the woods and had immediately grabbed her supplies, put out her fire, and ran. Whoever they were, they were smart enough to drive the car off of the road and into the cover of the trees. She just hoped that they weren't a part of the last group she had encountered. If the wolves were near, she'd need to flee.

She still had hope that there were good people out there. Rick had been right when he told her that she would survive, maybe he was also right when he said she'd find a new group.

Rick had told her that she wasn't the woman that she used to be. That she wouldn't be afraid to be on her own anymore. At first, she believed him and really thought she could do it, but as the months went on, the doubt began to settle in.

The loneliness started to creep in on her as the rain kept pouring and she started to realize that she couldn't do this much longer. The long, cold nights alone were becoming too much to handle. She hadn't slept properly in weeks, and she was quite surprised that she hadn't gone a little insane. She would never consider just giving up. She had survived too much in her life to give in to those thoughts, but she needed a change.

She just hoped that she would find some decent people.

If there were any of those left.

* * *

As the sun began to rise through the trees, Carol packed up her things and started out for a morning hunt. The rabbits were plentiful in this area, and she had gotten quite good at making and setting snares. She was hoping to get some breakfast since she had left half of her meal behind last night.

She had gotten quite good and hunting over the past year, and was especially proud of herself for her ability to make shelter. She had managed to find a few safe havens similar to the grove along the way, but never stayed in one place too long.

She crept back towards the remnants of her fire from the previous night, making sure that she was as quiet as possible. As she got closer, she saw the telltale signs of walkers. There seemed to be more than she had seen in a while according to the mishmash of footprints along the damp ground.

She gripped her knife tighter as she kept moving. Walkers she could deal with.

"AARON!"

The yell was followed by the sounds of gunfire, which nearly made her jump out of her own skin. She hadn't heard gunfire in quite a long time as she preferred to take out walkers quietly with her knife.

Another voice followed, "Get in the car!"

"Aaron, move!"

She didn't know why, but she dropped her pack and moved as quickly as she could towards the frightened voices. There was something about the urgency of the call that drew Carol, and for some reason she felt that these people were worth helping.


	2. learning to trust

When Carol burst through the treeline into a small clearing she saw two men. One was on the ground with three walkers trying to take a bite out of him. The other, the one who was yelling, was in the car. The window was down a little, and she could see blood smeared on the crack. He seemed to be trying to draw the walkers towards him and away from the struggling man.

Carol spotted 3 dead walkers and a pistol near the man who was fighting for his life, and she assumed that he had run out of bullets. She saw an open bag nearby, which held the weapons that they both so dearly needed. Without thinking any further, she grabbed two handguns that lay a top the pile. She quickly shot two of the walkers that had the man, whom she assumed to be Aaron, pinned down.

As the man in the car continued to shout, Carol ran to finish off the other walker with her knife, and hauled Aaron to his feet. Thankfully, he seemed to be nothing but grateful and immediately thanked her as she handed him a gun with a nod. The gun shots had drawn the walkers surrounding the car towards her and Aaron, and they quickly began to eliminate the remaining threats.

The bullets ran out before the walkers did, and Carol, rather than using her gun and wasting her own dwindling supply of ammo, found herself using her trusty knife once again. The other man had exited the car once the group of walkers had dispersed, and ran to the duffle bag. In his haste to grab new weapons, he failed to notice the new additions that were now shambling out of the woods behind him.

Carol ran, pushed the man out of the way, and stabbed an approaching walker. As she fell to the ground, her knife firmly embedded in the walker's skull, she felt a sharp pang in her ankle. She rolled over and grabbed her leg in pain as the man she had saved shot the other walkers that were approaching from the woods.

When the last walker was put down, Carol watched as the two men ran to embrace each other.

"I can't believe I dropped the damn bag!"

"You're ok, right? Why are you bleeding? Did one get you through the window?!"

"I'm fine, I cut my hand to keep them interested, but you didn't get scratched or anything? You managed to hold them off until…"

His question trailed off as he seemed to remember that an unknown person was the one to help Aaron fight off the walkers that pinned him down.

Both men turned to Carol simultaneously, who was still on the ground, and slowly trying to rotate her ankle. She knew it was a sprain, she had had enough injuries in her life to know the difference between a sprain and a break.

Sprain or break, it didn't matter, either was a death sentence out here. Using her hands for support, she hopped into standing position and tried to keep the weight off of her affected ankle.

"Thank you," Aaron walked towards her, arms out and hands open, as if approaching a wild animal. She realized that standing here, covered in blood and dirt, she probably did look like a wild animal to these men.

"Please, try not to put any weight on that," the other man gestured to her foot as he assumed the same stance and moved towards, "I'm Eric, and this is Aaron."

Carol raised her gun in silence and began trying to back away, but when she added pressure to her foot, she hissed in pain and fell to the forest floor once again.

Aaron, wary of the gun that she was holding, knelt next to her, "you're armed and we aren't, please let us help." She knew that she didn't have much choice at this point.

"May I?" Aaron gestured to her ankle and Carol slowly nodded.

"It's just a sprain, I'll be fine," Carol tried to assure the stranger, but as Aaron slowly rotated her ankle, she let out another gasp of pain.

Eric moved to her other side, "You've saved our lives and gotten hurt in the process," he placed a cautious hand on her shoulder, "you have to let us help you."

Carol was having an internal war.

She wouldn't last on her own, especially not while injured. These men seemed to be kind, but no one was to be trusted in this world. As she looked at these strangers she thought about why the hell she got involved. She had successfully avoided the majority of people that she came across, but something about the panic and fear in Eric's voice made her give a damn.

Aaron seemed to read her mind, "If you have a group we'd be happy to get you back to them," he stood up and moved to look for something in the dufflebag, "we know it's not easy to trust people out here, but Eric and I owe you our lives."

"I have no one to get back to," Carol knew that at this point it was no use hiding the fact that she was alone. She was injured and outnumbered, and though she would never go down without a fight, she needed to believe that not everyone was looking for one. The last time she had encountered 2 men, they hadn't even tried to lull her into a false sense of security, they had just attacked.

Most people were like that now.

Eric smiled down at her, "watching him on the ground was the worst moment of my life," he reassuringly squeezed her shoulder, "I owe you everything, please let us help."

Carol hadn't felt safe in a very long time, and from the moment she had kissed Judith goodbye, and took off into the woods, she didn't' think she'd feel that way again. However, Carol knew what love looked like, and these men loved each other with everything they had.

Carol prided herself on being able to tell the good people from the bad. Her time with Ed had taught her exactly what to avoid in men, and Aaron and Eric seemed to be the exact opposite. They were serious about helping her so she decided to trust her gut instinct. Though she still held her knife, she nodded at Eric and gave him a hesitant smile as he helped her to stand.

Aaron moved to her other side and the men helped her to sit on the hood of the station wagon. Once she was settled, Aaron removed the bundle of pictures from the bag and showed them to Carol, "Eric and I live in a small community…"

Carol listened in disbelief as they described a community that seemed too good to be true. The pictures showed high walls with heavy beams for reinforcement, and a tower at the gate where Carol could see the blurred outline of someone in the window. The men seemed to be in great shape, they were clean, and they had weapons, food, walls, and supplies.

"I would like to trust you, but as you said, it's extremely hard to do that out here," at their accepting nods she continued, "you have to let me keep my knife and gun."

"You will have to leave your gun after you talk to Deanna, but you can keep the knife if it will make you feel safe," Aaron explained the weapons system and how you needed to check out the guns if you were going beyond the walls.

Carol was quite handy with her knife. If she found herself in a bad situation she knew that the knife was all she would need.

"Why would you just invite me back with you?" Carol just couldn't quite believe how good this sounded, "You don't know me, I could be dangerous."

"You could've grabbed that bag of weapons and left us to die," Aaron seemed very unfazed by her question, "We've been recruiting for Alexandria for years and we've met all kinds of people, I may not know you, but I believe that you're a good person."

Carol wished she could still think of herself as a good person. She wanted to be a good person and maybe, just maybe this was the way to feel that again. She needed to give this place a chance. She'd been alone too long.

"We have a great doctor…well…she's not a real doctor, but she's amazing", she realized that she had zoned out a little as Eric continued to speak, "she'll be able to wrap up your ankle in no time, and it looks like that bandage could use a change too."

Carol raised her hand to the makeshift bandage that hid the cut on her forehead, "I don't know if I'm still a good person," she admitted shakily, "but I know for sure that there are horrible people out here, and I don't think I want to face them alone anymore."

The young men smiled at her, and Aaron began packing up their supplies while Eric moved to help her into the backseat of the station wagon.

Carol insisted on going back to grab her backpack before heading to Alexandria with the men, but Aaron told her to get comfortable in the backseat while he went to retrieve it for her. She wanted to believe that this community would work out, and that maybe she would sleep in a real bed soon and eat some real food, but she knew the other possibility as well.

Eric told her that the leader of the community, Deanna, insisted on interviewing each new resident before they were allowed to stay, and Carol wasn't 100% convinced that she'd be allowed into their new society. She wanted to make sure that she had her pack, just in case.

Carol sat in the backseat with her ankle resting on Eric's lap. The drive back to Alexandria would take a few hours, but the young men seemed more than happy to fill that time with small talk.

"I'm Carol, by the way," she leaned over to shake Eric's hand.

The next hour was the best that Carol had experienced in a long time. Though she still had some small doubts lingering in the back of her head about Alexandria, Aaron and Eric were impossible not to like. She could hear some soft music coming through the speakers and found herself drifting as Eric began to tell her about the licence plate collection that was over half way completed.

"Carol," she felt a nudge at her leg and woke with a start, but relaxed when she felt the familiar weight of her knife and saw Eric's smiling face.

"Sorry to startle you," Eric noticed the way that her hand immediately went to her knife and wondered how long she had been on her own, "you've been out for a few hours, but we're only a few minutes away from home."

She had fallen asleep in a car with strangers. Strangers whom she liked, but strangers nonetheless.

"I'm sorry, I didn't sleep last night" Carol straightened up in her seat, "the rain was insane."

Eric just nodded, "Aaron and I spent the night in the car. Storm came out of nowhere!"

He looked thoughtful for a moment as he watched Carol check her dufflebag and readjust the gun in her belt, "I know you're probably not completely comfortable with the idea of Alexandira, but Aaron and I have 2 guestrooms and you're more than welcome to use one tonight, and for as long as you'd like."

Aaron handed her a granola bar from the front seat, which she immediately tore open and began to devour as Eric continued, "there are some empty houses as well, but if you'd prefer to not be alone we'd love to have you."

Carol slowly sipped from her canteen as she contemplated the offer. She was waiting for them to slip up and reveal that Alexandira was another Terminus or Woodbury, but the more they talked, the more she trusted them. If this place did turn out to be a trap then they were doing a damn good job.

"Tara, you there?" Carol's thoughts were interrupted as Aaron began talking to someone via walkie-talkie.

The static was interrupted by a woman's voice, "Aw man, I almost had the Eiffel tower!"

Eric laughed as Aaron shook his head and answered, "sorry to interrupt your yo-yo time, but we'll be at the gates in 5. Is Rosita in the infirmary?"

"You guys ok?" Carol noticed the slight worry in her voice.

"We're fine, but we managed to get our newest recruit hurt, and we've promised her a great doctor," Aaron replied. Carol caught his eye in the rear-view mirror and he gave her a small smile.

"And a great doctor is what you will get," the cheerful voice was back, "I'll meet you guys at the gate and let Sasha and Rose know you're coming. Over and out!"

Carol could see the walls coming into view, and she knew that these people were well protected. As they approached the gate she could see a hand waving from the tower and Eric stuck his hand out the window to wave back. The gates slowly started to open as they got closer and Carol could see a young woman standing just inside.

"We're going to drive up to Rosita's so you don't have to add any pressure to that ankle before she can look at it," Carol just bobbed her head up and down as Eric started talking to someone, her attention was on the pristine houses that she was now able to see.

How could a place like this still exist?

The cheerful voice was back and Carol was a little startled as a woman appeared in the window with a wide smile, "Welcome to Alexandria!"


	3. Dr Espinosa

Author's note: Thanks to all the reviewers and faves and followers! I swear there will be a reunion soon!

* * *

She heard dogs barking and children laughing, two noises that now sounded completely foreign. She saw a young boy run to pick up a ball and throw it towards an eager dog. The houses were gorgeous, the lawns were mowed and she spotted an older woman watering flowers on her porch.

This couldn't be real.

Carol wasn't paying attention as the excited woman appeared next to Eric again and began chatting, "I'll let Rick know that you're back. I'm sure he'll want to be on welcoming duty after she meets Deanna."

She poked her head in through the window to catch Carol's attention again, "Hey, if you're up to it later I found some vodka on my last run, "she gave Carol a little wink, "it'll really take the edge off and maybe let you get a decent nights sleep. I had a lot of trouble sleeping in a real bed again for the first couple nights here."

"I may take you up on that offer if I get to stay," Carol smiled at the young woman and they waved goodbye as the car began to move.

Aaron slowly drove the car past a few houses and stopped alongside what looked to be a large garage. Eric helped her slide out of the backseat as Aaron came around to help get her inside, "I'll stay with you while Rose checks you over. I also want to warn you that lots of people are going to be curious about the new girl. The recruiting runs haven't gone so well recently, so we haven't had anyone new in a while."

She gratefully accepted Eric's offer. Meeting too many new faces was not something she was looking forward to, and though she didn't know them well, she felt some semblance of trust with Aaron and Eric. As they stepped inside, Carol saw that the place had been turned into a makeshift clinic. A couple of exam tables, some stretchers and loads of medical supplies were a welcomed sight.

Once Carol was sitting on an examination table with her foot elevated on a pillow, Aaron went to return the car and let Deanna know that Carol would be meeting with her later.

"We have a new patient for you," Eric announced as a beautiful young woman that Carol assumed was Rosita came into the infirmary and closed the door behind her, "she saved my life, so treat her well."

"I always treat my patients well," the woman held out her hand for Carol to shake, "I'm Rosita Espinosa and I feel like it's important to mention that I was not a doctor before all of this, but I'm damn good."

"Carol", she responded while shaking her hand and nodding politely as Rosita began to grab disinfectant and bandages. It had been a long time since Carol thought about her hygiene, but sitting in this sterile room with Rosita made her wish she had stood out in the rain last night. She was covered in mud, blood and gore, but no one seemed surprised or repelled.

"Is it just your ankle?"

Carol flinched as Rosita moved to remove her boots and began examining the injury, "it's just a sprain, should be fine in a few days."

Rosita nodded as she examined Carol, "you're right about the sprain. I'll get a bandage on it so it doesn't get any worse and grab you some pain killers."

Eric moved to get some gauze, "She also has a cut on her forehead that she hasn't let us look at, but it will definitely need some cleaning."

Carol reached up and removed the piece of shirt that was covering the cut, "the last group I came across weren't quite as welcoming as Eric and Aaron."

The cut looked like a jagged checkmark, and she knew it was deep. She knew it would leave a scar, but she didn't have the equipment to treat it properly while on her own. She had managed to keep it clean, but she expected that she needed some stiches, which Rosita confirmed.

The dreaded small-talk began as Rosita prepared the supplies, "So you were on your own?"

Carol nodded, "For about a year now," Rosita and Eric both seemed a little shocked at this news, "I met a few people along the way, but we never stayed together long."

Eric squeezed her hand as Rosita started the stitching process, "I'm glad we found you. No one should be out there alone."

"I was with a large group in the beginning," Carol found herself picking at the handle of her knife as she spoke, "we were together a long time, but things went bad."

"I get it," Rosita agreed, "It's tough to know who you can trust out there. I've been with a few different groups, lost a lot of people along the way due to stupid mistakes. You need people you can count on."

"When we first approached Rosita and her group they knocked Aaron out and tied him up," Eric chuckled at the memory, "I got hurt and thankfully they decided to help us out and to take a chance on Alexandria, just like you."

Taking a chance. This seemed to be a good place to take a chance.

Rosita began tying off the ends of the stiches, "The weariness will stay with you for a while, but hopefully you'll decide to stay. It took some people in my group almost a month just to start showering regularly."

Carol winced at the tug on her forehead, "well it's not completely up to me, is it?" She smiled sadly as Rosita nodded in agreement.

"Deanna is a fantastic leader. The interview seems strange at first, but it really helps the community to have a system instead of just letting everyone in," Carol couldn't argue with that logic.

"So people have…failed the interview?"

Eric interjected, "I've been here since the beginning and Deanna has only exiled 3 men in that time," noting Carol's curious look, he continued, "they decided that they didn't need to follow rules or help anyone other than themselves. Deanna doesn't take exile lightly, she thinks it's equal to killing someone, so unless you really mess up, you'll be fine."

Rosita sniped the ends of the thread, "she's going to ask you about your past, before the turn, and since you've been out there for a long time she's just going to want to know how you've survived," she swiped the area with disinfectant, "I've been in some bad spots, lost a lot of people, but this place is filled with good ones, and Deanna helps to make sure it stays that way."

Carol thought back to Terminus and all of the misleading signs that promised sanctuary. She had wanted to get Tyreese and Judith somewhere safe, but that dream disappeared in a hail of gunfire.

Rosita had taped some fresh gauze into place over the new stiches, "all done!"

Eric grabbed a set of crutches and handed them to Carol as she scooted off of the table, "thank you for your help, and for what it's worth, you are damn good at your job."

Rosita laughed and packed up the remaining supplies, "Deanna's is only a few houses down, I'll walk with you."

The trio made their way out of the infirmary and down the street. Carol was no stranger to crutches, but was thankful to have Eric at her side. Eric reminded her of Glenn, fiercely loyal to those who deserved it, and apparently he felt that she deserved it.

"So you've never lived outside the walls?"

"Aaron and I got lucky and met Deanna and her family near the beginning of all this," Eric waved at a young girl as they walked, "I've been on the outside a lot for recruiting missions, but it's much easier to be out there when you know you have a bed to come home to."

Deanna's house came into view and they walked up the driveway. Carol noticed that potted flowers lined the porch and a welcome mat adorned the step.

Deanna stood in her doorway as the trio approached, "well, this is where we leave you," Eric placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "I'll come by and get you when you're done and bring you to the house."

"Thanks for everything, Eric," Carol gave Eric a one-armed hug, "even if this doesn't work out it's great to know that there are some good people left."

"You seem like a good person, and I know it's going to be hard, but talk to Deanna," Rosita continued, "she'll find you a place here. You wont have to worry about your next meal, or being constantly on guard. It takes time, but it's amazing."

Carol thanked Rosita, and hoped that Deanna was as understanding and open as these people made her out to be. With a welcoming handshake, Carol followed Deanna to her judgement.


	4. we've all got blood on our hands

Thanks for all the reviews/alert/faves! Forgive the grammar mistakes, I proofread everything myself, so I know it wont be perfect. Next update will be soon!

* * *

Carol noticed the bookshelves and the massive amount of knickknacks that were strewn about the living room. She took a seat across from Deanna and placed her foot on the small table in front of her.

"So, Carol correct?" At Carol's confirming nod, Deanna continued, "Welcome to Alexandria. Aaron told me that I have you to thank for the safe return of 2 of my citizens."

"I was nearby when I heard them yelling," Carol tried to be relaxed about the situation, "I just did what anyone else would've done."

Carol found herself thinking about Daryl as she spoke those words.

 _You're every bit as good as them, every bit._

Though she didn't think that about herself, at least not anymore.

This caught Deanna's attention, "I think you're wrong about that. Aaron said that you could've grabbed their supplies and left them to die, but you chose to help them, and put yourself in danger," Deanna gestured to her bandaged ankle.

"It's just a sprain, I'll be fine in no time," Carol looked Deanna in the eye, "I've been through much worse. Don't think you have to let me stay just because my ankle is hurt."

Deanna had met many people since the world came to an end, and the longer they were outside the walls the harder it was to convince them to stay. She could tell that Carol needed this place, and was hoping to assure her that this was a safe place to be.

"Surely you've come across others out there," Deanna was trying to coax Carol to open up, "What made you decide to help Aaron and Eric?"

Carol had to think about her answer for a bit as she really wasn't sure what had caused her to run to their aid. She thought back to some of the other groups that she had encountered over the past year and how the majority had been out for themselves. Most of the good people were together, and held up somewhere safe. Those who were out on the road were scavengers, and not people you wanted to come across, especially while alone.

She realized then what had made her run, "It was Eric's voice. Most people out there are only concerned about themselves. He sounded so scared. He kept calling for Aaron, and I just couldn't take it anymore."

Carol thought back to the worst day of her life when she had to watch helplessly as Sophia ran into the woods, never to be seen again. She can still hear herself yelling Sophia's name on quiet nights. The desperation was not easily forgotten.

Deanna gave a knowing smirk, "Aaron mentioned that you were alone. You must know your way around out there and be able to handle yourself pretty well. Did you recently lose people, or have you been surviving on your own for a while?"

Carol thought about how to answer Deanna. Rosita and Eric had told her to be honest and to trust that Deanna understood what needed to happen on the outside to keep yourself safe.

"I was with a group since the beginning of all this," Carol couldn't help but smile at the thought of her old family, "I lost my husband, then my daughter shortly after, and countless others along the way. We were safe for a while," Deanna was listening intently as Carol continued, "we had walls and a fence, but we couldn't keep everything out. A flu struck and I decided to take matters into my own hands."

Karen and David would forever be a moment that haunted her, "The flu slowly killed you. Drowning in your own blood was not a pretty way to go, so when 2 of our group got sick, I put them out of their misery. Our leader didn't approve, and I was advised not to come back. I learned to track, hunt and I'm quite adept at taking out walkers."

Deanna stayed silent. She had heard enough horrible stories to know that Carol wasn't finished.

"I know you decide on who gets to stay, and I don't expect an open invitation. I've killed people," her eyes began to water, but she held the tears back, "I've done some things that I still can't talk about, not even to live behind these walls."

Deanna seemed to respect Carol's decision, "We all have blood on our hands, Carol. It's the reason for the blood that's important."

Carol looked disbelievingly at Deanna. This woman had been hidden behind walls since the early days of this new apocalyptic world and Carol doubted that she had seen much bloodshed.

"There was a man here, a surgeon, and for the past couple of years he had been beating his wife and possibly his children."

Carol's head immediately snapped up to focus on Deanna as she continued to speak, "I knew about it and I did nothing. He was a surgeon. I couldn't exile someone so valuable, so I just ignored it and let it continue."

Deanna picked up a framed picture from the end-table next to her, "About a year ago our constable found out, and he confronted Pete. This whole ordeal ended in my husband's death, and shortly after I gave the call for Pete to be killed as well."

Carol looked at the picture of the happy, smiling family and knew that even the highest walls couldn't keep out everything, "So like I said, it's the reason for the blood on your hands that is most important."

Carol liked that statement, "the people I have killed were a threat to me or my family. Even after being told to leave I made sure my old group was ok before heading out on my own for good."

"Why wouldn't you want to see them again?"

Carol chuckled, "Oh I did. I wanted nothing more than to run into the woods and stay with them until my time came, but there was no way I could stand to be rejected again."

Deanna, sensing a sore spot, decided to change topics, "So what did you do before all of this?"

"I was a homemaker." Deanna looked a little shocked at this, "I was a mom to a wonderful little girl, and a wife to a monster. Why does that matter?"

"Everything matters, Carol. We can't forget who we were or how much we've changed," Deanna explained how she was a politician before the world ended, which seemed to make a lot of sense.

"I remember every bit of who I was," Carol replied, "and I can guarantee you that if I had been here with that surgeon, he'd have been dead long ago. Valuable or not. That's who you're interviewing now, not the meek housewife who was too afraid to speak around her husband."

"You seem to be trying to convince me to not let you stay here. Don't you think you deserve a chance to start over?"

Carol realized that she was right, "I want to, and I hope I can."

The two women spoke for a little longer about the past, and about how Alexandria tried to keep some semblance of normalcy, "we have a few children here who go to school, which now involves a little weapon training. We're trying to merge a little of both worlds so people don't forget the way it was, but also so they don't get too complacent."

As Deanna spoke Carol found herself becoming more and more hopeful of being admitted into this little town. Her fear was being replaced with hope, and though she knew that Deanna could whip out a gun at any moment to finish her off, Carol just couldn't see it happening. Maybe this was the place that Rick had in mind when he told her that she'd get to start over.

Eric and Rosita had been right. Deanna was a very understanding woman, and she cared immensely for her little town. Maybe this would be the right place for Carol's chance to start over.

She couldn't go back out there by herself.

* * *

"So do you think she'll stay?" Aaron was waiting on the porch when Eric and Rosita arrived back at the house.

"I think she wants to," Eric sat on the steps with Rosita following suit, "but I think she's still a little jumpy."

Rosita bobbed her head in agreement, "it's almost like she doesn't think she deserves to be here, reminds me of Daryl a little. He was so awkward here until he started recruiting with you."

"Maybe leave out the welcoming party this time," Michonne added as she and Rick joined the group on the porch.

Aaron agreed, "I think that'd send her running. Too many people at once is bound to freak her out."

"I told her she could stay here for a bit. If she had a place to herself someone would be constantly knocking on her door to introduce themselves. Plus I don't think she wants to be on her own anymore."

Aaron smiled, he could tell that Eric really liked the new recruit and knew that they would be having a houseguest for a little while, "I've already made up the guest room. Are you going back when Deanna radios?"

"Yup, I told her I'd bring her back and get her settled."

Eric laid the walkie-talkie next to him as Rick chimed in, "So you think she's a no-brainer for Deanna?"

Aaron and Eric immediately nodded as Rosita explained, "She's been by herself too long, but she still saved these two morons when she could've grabbed their stuff and ran."

Eric punched Rosita in the arm, "a small herd came out of nowhere!"

Aaron laughed as they continued to bicker and answered Rick, "Unless she tells Deanna something crazy, I think we'll have a new roommate until she decides to move into one of the empty places."

Rick Grimes had changed quite a lot since coming to Alexandria, but one thing that remained the same was his need to protect his family. They were thriving here and they were all closer than ever.

The Alexandrians had finally woken up and realized that the walls wouldn't hold forever. The construction crew worked constantly to check and re-check to supports, everyone did basic weapon training, even the kids, and supply runs had a constant rotation schedule.

Rick could still remember the feeling of coming into the gated community and waiting to be tricked or attacked. It took a while for that constant fear to ebb, and he hoped the new woman would give this place a chance. Rick knew the mindset she was in and wanted to feel her out.

With a subtle nod at Michonne, Rick spoke, "Mind if I tag along?"

"Might be smart to introduce her to one of the constables first," Eric knew that the residents of Alexandria were pretty nosy, so backup on the short walk would be welcome.

As the group was discussing an upcoming supply run, Deanna's voice cut into their conversation, "Eric you there?"

"All done?" he asked, "Good news I'm betting."

"It's all up to Carol now," was the response, "I've told her there's a place for her if she'd like one."

The small group shared a round of smiles, "Rick and I are on the way. Over and out."

* * *

Deanna clipped the walkie-talkie back onto her belt and led Carol outside. They stood on the porch and watched as a few people walked around the community. Carol saw a figure run to open the gates and another car entered Alexandria. After a short stop and a chat, the car drove off in the opposite direction of Deanna's house.

"That's the construction crew finishing up for the day. They've been working on the north section of the wall lately," Deanna went on to further explain that they constantly had people working to make their community as safe as possible.

"Ah! Here comes your escorts now," Carol could see Eric and another man making their way closer. She hobbled along on her crutches and moved down the driveway to the road, but stopped once the unidentified man was close enough for her to make out his face.

It seemed that he had recognized her as well because with an unintelligible noise of happiness, he was suddenly running towards her. Carol found herself slowly backing up, which caused Rick to slow is rapid approach.

"Carol?" he tentatively called out.

His voice caused all of the tears that she'd been holding onto to escape down her cheeks. Her nod and the flood of tears was all it took for Rick to approach, and her breath hitched as he pulled her into a hug that made her drop her crutches.

"Oh god," was all she could say as she found herself crying with happiness for the first time in a long time.


	5. maybe it'll be ok

Author's note: Hope you like it!

* * *

Deanna and Eric stood on the sidewalk and watched in confusion as one of their constables embraced the newest addition to Alexandria like he had known her his whole life.

"How?"

"Why did you leave?"

"Are there others here?"

The rapid fire questions went unanswered as they continued to hug. Neither was aware of the others' questions, as both were completely shocked at the unexpected turn that the day had taken.

When they had calmed down and moved apart, they finally got a good look at each other.

"Are you okay?" Rick took in her bandaged head and noticed that she was standing on one foot as Eric slowly approached her with the forgotten crutches.

"I'm fine," Carol could not wipe the smile from her face, "the doctor here fixed me up, good as new."

"I'm so sorry," Rick had been holding onto that apology for a long time, "I was stupid. I owe you everything. I know what you have to do now, to survive. You just figured it out first."

Carol shook her head as she accepted the crutches from Eric, "you were right. I survived."

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm assuming that you know our newest resident?" Deanna was smiling at Rick as she moved toward the pair.

"Remember when we first got here and we told you about Terminus?" At Deanna's nod he continued, "Carol was the one who saved us all. We knew her before then too, but…" Rick didn't really know how to finish as he looked at the long-lost woman before him, "I sent her away because I was an idiot."

Carol could faintly hear Eric on his walkie-talkie as Rick explained how he knew Carol. Deanna was now filling in the gaps from what she remembered from the various stories of the group members, and Carol's own version from a few moments ago.

"Oh god," Rick turned to Carol again, "We have to get everyone to the house, they wont believe this."

Carol had often thought about her lost family and how they may be surviving. She never imagined that she would see them again after all of this time apart.

"Everyone's alright?" Carol's hope was beginning to soar at the idea of seeing her family again, "Judith and Carl? They're fine?"

"Judith is running all over the place," Rick began to chuckle, "she's babbling all the time too. Daryl's on babysitting duty right now, and I know he's trying to get her to say asskicker."

She felt a pang in her chest at his name. He was ok, and he was here, and she would see him again. This had to be a dream.

"Glenn? He was so sick and then they had him at Terminus," Carol was looking for the loophole, surely they all couldn't have survived this long.

Rick placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down, "Fine, he's fine."

They were all here, she was going to see them all again, and she hoped that the reunion would be a happy one. A year was a long time, and they had all undoubtedly changed since the last time she had seen them.

Her mind shifted to Daryl. The last time she saw him, she had kissed his cheek as he left the prison in the hopes of finding medicine for the sick. He had pulled her into a hug and told her to stay out of the quarantine zone.

She had no idea how he reacted after Rick told him the truth. Maybe he had agreed with the decision. She knew that he would be angry about her decision to run off, even if he hadn't forgiven her for Karen and David.

On bad nights, her nightmares would be filled with looks of scorn from her family as she attempted to reunite with them outside of Terminus. They would tell her that she was a cold-blooded killer and that they didn't trust her anymore. She'd wake up crying and be unable to go back to sleep, thoughts of her family drifting in her mind.

From the moment she told Tyreese the truth, Carol had tried to ignore the lingering thoughts of what the others may have decided. Tyreese was the only one whose forgiveness mattered to her and she didn't care if the others agreed with Rick's decision or not. She knew now that her attempt at preventing the disease from spreading had failed, but she had genuinely tried to protect the others.

Rick waked her from her thoughts, "Ready to see everyone?"

"They should all be at your place in a few minutes," Eric had radioed the Grimes-group and called an emergency meeting at Rick's house while they were talking.

"I…" Carol wanted to be excited. She wanted to ditch the crutches and run as fast as she could to see her family, but another part was afraid.

Sensing her doubt, Rick wrapped her in another hug, "we looked for you for days," he placed his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes, "Daryl blamed me, everyone was confused, Carl was devastated, and we grieved like you had died. They'll be thrilled to see you, trust me."

Carol took a deep breath and wiped a few stray tears from her eyes, "Ok, let's go."

Deanna went to inform some of the groups around town that certain members wouldn't be showing up for work tonight and possibly tomorrow morning. Eric walked alongside Carol and Rick as they started towards one of the two houses occupied by the big family.

Rick carefully explained what the Governor had done to Hershel and that they had lost Bob shortly after Terminus. The tears of happiness were replaced with tears of grief as Rick added Beth to the list of casualties. The last time she had seen Beth, they were singing to Judith and teaching the little girl how to play patty cake. Another girl gone too soon.

She had to stop for a moment after Rick told her about Tyreese. Tyreese was the only other person who knew about the events at the Grove, and you couldn't go through something like that with another person and not become close. Losses were expected, but it didn't make them easier.

Tyreese had informed them all about losing Lizzie and Mika, though he did not go into detail. He had also explained to the group about her confession and his forgiveness. The Terminus story had been met with disbelief, and Carol knew that she would have a lot to explain.

Rick also told her that she would see some new faces at the house. Tara, Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita were all in Terminus as well, and had become family. She had already met Rosita and was pleased that her instincts about the woman were right.

"This is my place," Rick pointed to the enormous house that stood in front of them, "Me, Carl, Judith, Michonne, Daryl and Sasha live in this one. Then next door we got Glenn, Maggie, Abe, Rosita, Tara and Eugene."

Carol tried to listen as Rick explained that there was also a man named Father Gabriel who came to Alexandria with them, but he lived in the church. She was much too focused on what may be behind the quickly approaching door to properly listen to his information.

She was both eagerly and absolutely dreading the thought of entering the house.

They stood on the porch and Carol took a few deep breaths to ready herself. Rick, noticing her discomfort offered a solution, "Do you want me to go in first? Explain what's going on?"

Carol wasn't sure how to handle this situation, "Maybe that'd be best."

Rick opened the door and headed in first, but he didn't get far before his family was in front of him. He was immediately greeted with voices all asking what the hell was going on, "Everyone calm down! You all know by now that someone new was just brought in," Rick's face lit up as he saw Carl come to the front of the group and peek around him to look outside, "well I think most of you have already met-"

Rick was pushed to the side as his son came barrelling towards him.

"Carol!" Carl Grimes launched himself into Carol's arms.

"You're so tall!" was all Carol managed to say as the young man hung on for dear life. Carol couldn't help but remember her long-gone friend, and how she had been worried about her son growing up in this world.

Lori would be so proud if she could see him now.

Another excited face caught her attention and she was relieved to see him looking so well. Glenn wasted no time and ran towards her as well, "You're alive! We looked for you – oh god- I can't believe you're actually here."

Glenn had been extremely sick when she left the prison. She would bring him food, and he would tell her that she needed to leave before she got sick, but that didn't stop her.

The hugs just kept coming and Carol was quickly running out of tears. Sasha had welcomed her with open arms and thanked her for helping Tyreese after the prison fell.

Maggie had apologized over and over while crushing Carol into a tight embrace. Carol had no idea what the young woman was apologizing for, but she didn't care.

A small giggle caught her attention and Carol turned to the little girl that was stumbling towards her, "da-da-da-da." Carol sank to her knees, ignoring the twinge of pain from her ankle, and reached out for Judith.

"Look at you," Carol cooed at the toddler who went to the new face happily, "you're such a big girl now." The last time Carol had held little Asskicker was just before heading into Terminus, and she wasn't sure she'd ever see those big eyes again. She cradled the little girl close and placed a few small kisses on her head.

"So this is Xena?" A gruff voice came from the side of the room where the unfamiliar faces stood, and a man with red hair moved forward to shake her hand, "well son of a fuck! Thanks for saving our skin from those crazy motherfuckers."

Carol accepted the man's hand and he helped her get off of the floor, she kept Judith in her arms as she stood on shaky legs, "Xena? I can live with that."

Carol shook his hand as Rosita approached chuckling, "This eloquent jackass is Abraham," she pulled Carol into a hug, "I'm glad you decided to stay."

"I'm Tara!" another young woman came forward to introduce herself and Carol recognized her as the one who had welcomed her to Alexandria.

As she continued to be bombarded with questions, one voice stood out over all, "Ya gonna hurt yourself more if ya don't start using those crutches."

* * *

He had been talking to Aaron when Rick opened the door, and was struck dumb when he heard Carl yell a name that he had longed to hear.

He couldn't move. She was right here, she was in Alexandria, in his house and she was alive. He often dreamed that she was alive out there, somewhere, and that maybe he'd find her someday while out with Aaron.

When they got to Alexandria he didn't want to stay. This place wasn't for people like him and some nights he thought about sneaking out on his own to search for Carol. It was Michonne who reminded him that there was no trail, and much like he had done for her back at the prison, she encouraged him to stay.

Once he and Aaron started going out on runs, the hope returned. Apparently he just needed to stay home and let her find her way back to him.

They'd always find each other.

Now here she stood. Bandaged and dirty, and looking like she needed to sleep for days. She had survived just like he knew she would.

He watched as she tried to ignore the obvious injury to her foot. He wasn't sure of the extent of the damage, but it was bad enough for her to wince whenever pressure was applied. The others wouldn't notice, but he had gotten quite good at picking up on little things.

Especially when it came to Carol.

He saw Eric standing in the doorway with an enormous smile on his face, and holding the crutches that Carol was obviously neglecting to use, "Ya gonna hurt yourself more if ya don't start using those crutches."

* * *

His voice muted every other sound in the room and her eyes zeroed in on the one person she was waiting to see. Daryl Dixon stood near the back of the room next to Aaron and a grinning Michonne. He had gotten a haircut, and if it wasn't for the familiar winged vest, she might have overlooked him. He hadn't looked this clean since…well ever to be perfectly honest.

The prison had showers, but the constant runs outside and the fence-clearing duty had kept the grime semi-permanent. They had been sharing a cell during her last days at the prison, and on cold nights alone all she thought about was how much she wanted to be back in that cell.

Back in that bunk.

Their relationship was a delicate one. They had been each other's person. They didn't walk around holding hands, or have wild sex every night in their cell, but they were together. It was beyond physical, and she really hoped that he would still be her person.

Even if she wasn't the same person that she had been back at the prison.

Carol handed Judith off to Rick as her breath caught in her throat and a new wave of tears began to form. The others seemed to part as Daryl moved closer, "you ok?"

Carol couldn't keep the smile from her face, "nine lives, remember? Might be down to two or three by now though."

Daryl let out a small chuckle at her answer and surprised everyone by rapidly closing the distance between them and picking Carol up into a hug. The waterworks had turned on full for each of the survivors as they clutched at each other for dear life.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his neck as he held her close, "I was afraid. I just couldn't watch anyone else get hurt. I had to leave."

She felt him nod against her, and the faint pressure of a kiss on her head, "you're here now, s'what matters."

The prison family didn't seem at all surprised as they watched the reunion, but the newer family members were a little stunned as they watched the hunter open up. He hadn't let her feet touch the floor yet and they continued to have a privately whispered conversation as the others just conversed among themselves.

"You sure you're ok? What happened to your head? Ya need to lay down?"

Carol relished in the feeling of someone caring about her again. The fact that Daryl was holding her, and was concerned about her, was enough to wash away the loneliness that had engulfed her mind.

She pushed back from his chest to look up and give him a little smile, "I'm fine. I had a nasty cut, but Rosita stitched me up, and I actually would love to lie down."

Though her feet were back on the ground, she was still firmly enclosed in Daryl's arms, and she hoped to stay there for a long time. She didn't expect to pick up where they'd left off, but she was glad that Daryl seemed to be at least a little excited to see her.

"Well we're going to take off, leave you guys to catch up," Tara gave a little wave as she headed towards the door with Abe, Eugene and Rosita.

"Thanks again for saving our bacon, Carol, we all surely would have perished without you" Eugene added before following the others out. Carol lifted her head from Daryl's shoulder to wave goodbye.

Eric and Aaron moved to the door as well, "I'm guessing our guestroom offer wont be needed now?" Eric laughed as he passed Carol her crutches once again.

"Well-" Carol started to answer, but was immediately cut off by Daryl.

"Nope. Stayin' with me."

Aaron instantly began to laugh at Daryl's territorial nature. He had been trying to get Daryl to open up with some of the Alexandrian ladies, but there was no hope. Now he knew why.

"Daryl, you don't have to," Carol tried to give him an out and show him that she didn't expect him to forgive her that easily, "I know that we can't go back to the way it was before."

"Sure we can," Daryl was having none of her self-deprecating attitude, "ya back where you belong, with me...with us."

He noticed the shared smirks between Aaron and Eric at his declaration and the archer glared at his friends, effectively cutting off whatever smartass comment was about to be made, "Shut it."

This was all Aaron needed to burst out laughing again, which made Daryl open the door and show the men out. He returned to Carol's side and gave her a simple nod, which she knew meant he was serious.

All joking aside, Carol was genuinely surprised at Daryl's suggestion. She didn't know if he merely meant that she would stay in this house, or if he actually wanted her to stay _with_ him. It seemed like a lifetime ago that they would sit in their cell and talk into the wee hours of the morning.

She knew that the group had a ton of questions and that she'd have to explain a lot, and hear a lot in turn. Right now she just wanted to sleep.

With her old family standing before her, Carol asked one more time, "you're ok with me being here, right? Aaron and Eric have offered me a place, I can stay there if you need to talk about this. You all have lives here and I wont just invite myself in to interrupt that."

"There's nothing to talk about, Carol," Michonne placed a comforting hand on her back, "we owe you everything. You're home now."

Home. She hadn't had a home in a very long time.

"Go upstairs, have a hot shower and get some sleep," Glenn had noticed the weariness in her face, and knew that she couldn't take a long list of questions right now, "we can all talk in the morning, over a big breakfast."

 _Hot shower…breakfast…where the hell am I?_

Carol ran a hand through her hair and felt the grime, "that sounds amazing."

They made plans to meet back in the morning for breakfast, and as the crowd began to disperse, Carol moved to the stairs. She was eager for this hot shower, which would also give her some time to gather her thoughts.

"I'll show ya, "Daryl came up behind her and gestured to the crutches, "you mind?"

She knew what was coming and laid the crutches on the floor as Daryl picked her up to carry her upstairs. They walked down a hallway to the last door on the right, which Daryl nudged open to reveal the bathroom.

"Use as much hot water as you want," Daryl set her down on the toilet seat as he grabbed some towels and laid them on the sink, "When you're done just come on over across the hall, we can talk a bit, and you can get some sleep. My room's right next to Asskicker's."

Even though he was all cleaned up, he was still the Daryl she remembered. He was chewing at the skin on his thumb as he told her about getting some fresh sheets and how he would sleep on the couch, or on the floor if she wanted company.

He was rambling and she found it completely endearing.

Before she could respond, Michonne lightly knocked on the door, "I got some clean clothes that you can change into." She placed them on the sink next to the towels and gestured to Carol's mud and blood covered attire, "Leave those out and I can wash them…or burn them, whatever you'd prefer."

Carol chuckled, "thank you. Thank you so much."

After making sure that she didn't need any further help, Michonne and Daryl exited the bathroom and Carol found herself alone once again.

Turning the tap and having hot, running water pour out was a religious experience. She just sat on the side on the tub for a few moments, nearly transfixed at the feel of the hot water on her arm.

She stepped inside; pulled the curtain closed, and let the water wash over her. The weight of the past year seemed to hit her all at once and she found herself sinking to the floor of the tub. She sat, pulled her knees to her chest, and began to cry. She didn't have to stifle her sobs in fear of walkers overhearing anymore, so she let it all out.

Her sobs tapered off into laughter as she realised exactly what had just happened. She had saved two men and in turn been saved by them. They had brought her home to her family, and she had been welcomed back into their lives with open arms.

Carol had given up her belief in God a long time ago, but she thanked whatever force had worked its magic to bring her to this place.

She wasn't sure how long she sat and let the steam calm her nerves. She watched the murky, crimson water that seemed to stain the porcelain, and as it went down the drain her troubles seemed to follow.

Maybe things would work out after all.


	6. keep trying

She had stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. She grabbed a fluffy white towel and wiped the steam off of the mirror to have a good look at herself.

The scar on her forehead would be an everlasting reminder of the things that could happen when you're outside walls. She noticed that she looked way too thin. Her collarbones stuck out too much and she could see that her cheeks were sunken.

Carol put on the pajama shorts and shirt that Michonne had left for her and scruffed her hair dry.

Baths in lakes were nowhere near as refreshing as this. There were a few houses along the way that had wells or pumps for some clean water, but these were few and far between. Having hot, running water wash away her fears was like being reborn.

She was afraid to leave the safety of the bathroom.

Would Daryl be waiting in his room? Would she sleep alone again tonight and wake disoriented tomorrow morning?

Faint giggles came through the wall and pushed the negative thoughts from her mind. She needed to sleep, and though she didn't want to sleep alone, she'd probably pass out if she kept debating this in her head.

She stepped across the hall and noticed that the door was ajar. The room next to Daryl's had Judith's name painted in bright pink and green letters, and she could hear mumbles followed by more giggles. Rick must be putting her to bed.

She slowly opened the door to find Daryl sitting on the edge of the bed. She could see an air mattress on the floor right next to the bed and hoped that he would be staying close tonight.

"You alright?" Carol smiled at him and nodded as she shut the door behind her.

"I made up a bed on the floor, but I can go downstairs if you want."

Carol immediately shook her head, "Please stay. I…if you don't mind," Carol found herself rambling a little as she tried to get him to stay, "I know it's been a long time, but I've been by myself out there too long and would love to know that there's someone close by."

"Why did you go?" he whispered.

She sat next to him on the bed, "Did Tyreese tell you about the girls?"

At his nod she continued, "It was…I just needed to forget it. So I tried to get Judith and Tyreese to safety, but that went to hell too. I was too afraid to watch anyone else die. Once I saw you get over the fence, I started thinking about what Rick told me before I left…about how none of you would want me there, and I just couldn't take it. I had to run."

"I punched him in the face," at her shocked expression he laughed, "I was so pissed. I started looking for ya right away, with Ty and Michonne, but we had to move on cause of the Terminus people. A few of them caught up with us after everything went down. That's how we lost Bob."

"I'm sorry," she placed her hand over his on the bed, "I know that disappearing is the worst thing I could've done to you, I'm so, so sorry."

"You should've known Rick was wrong," he laced his fingers through hers, "I'll always want you right here, with me."

The tears were happy and she flicked them away with a laugh, "so does that mean you'll stay with me tonight?"

He simply nodded and moved to spread a sheet over the mattress on the floor and turn out the lights.

"I don't think I can stand to be alone anymore, but being around everyone earlier was hard too," she stretched out the bed and tried to get comfortable.

"You been by yourself since Terminus?"

"I met a few people on a road, but no one I trusted enough to stay with for very long. There was one group that I stayed with for a while near the beginning, but a herd came though and well…you can guess the rest."

Carol was squirming around, but no matter how hard she tried she could not get comfortable. She remembered what Tara had told her when she entered Alexandria and knew the young woman was right. The bed was too soft, and even though she was dead on her feet, she knew that this probably wouldn't work.

"Daryl," he looked up at her whisper, "you can have your bed back. I don't think I will get any sleep at all if I stay here."

They switched places and Carol found comfort on the harder air mattress.

"We all slept in the living room for about a week before we'd even go to the bedrooms," Daryl admitted once they were laying in the dark, "it was about 2 months before the others moved out next door. It'll take you a while, but it's a good place, I promise."

As they lapsed into silence Carol found herself staring up at the man on the bed. He didn't seem to be holding any resentment towards her and she would be eternally grateful for the man's ability to forgive. She knew things would never be exactly the same, but it seemed that she would at least get her best friend back. She wanted to call him pookie or tell him how good he looked with his haircut, but she wasn't sure that her usual, casual jokes would be welcomed right now.

She could hear Daryl's breathing and the sound seemed to lull her into a sense of security. She found herself slowly drifting off with a slight smile on her face.

* * *

Daryl had woken up with the sun as he usually did and found himself on the very edge of his bed. He lay on his side and simply watched as the woman that he had so sorely missed these many months, slept only a few feet away from him.

Carol had curled herself into a ball sometime during the night. She looked peaceful as she slept and he hoped to see her looking like this more often. Before she had be exiled they were sharing a cell, and a bed, and he desperately wanted to return to that. He wanted her to be in this bed with him, and he wanted to hold her and convince her that they all needed her here.

It broke his heart when she had asked if they really wanted her to stay. If she had gone to Eric and Aaron's place he would've followed, and no one would have stopped him. He knew what life on the road was like, and he also knew the kind of people that you could meet out there.

Daryl just hoped that she hadn't run into anyone like the claimers while she was alone. God only knows what men like that would've done to a woman alone.

Daryl lay in bed for quite a long time and just stared at his other half. They had racked up the losses and Alexandria was a big win, but he always felt a little incomplete. He wasn't going to let her go again, and he planned to show her that she didn't need to be insecure about her place here.

She was back home with her family.

* * *

Carol woke with a start.

A loud bang followed by muffled voices and some very excited squeals from a little girl had roused her from her sleep. Her knife was immediately in her hand and she was staring around the room with wide eyes, trying to get her bearings.

With a sigh of relief, she sank back down onto the mattress.

Carol felt like a human being. She was clean, rested and she felt safe as she pressed her face into her fluffy pillow.

After a few deep breaths, she sat up again and looked up to see an empty bed next to her. She was a little disappointed that he had already left, but she noticed a piece of paper atop of a small pile of clothes that was laid on his bed.

 _Figured you would want to sleep in a bit.  
Sasha dropped off the clothes this morning.  
Come on down for breakfast after you get ready._

 _Keep trying, you're home._

 _-Pookie_

Carol began to laugh as she read the signature at the bottom of the note. He called himself Pookie, and the weight of her nervousness lifted from her shoulders with that word.

Maybe it would be ok to joke around with him again. Maybe she could slide into this new life and find her own place among her family again.


	7. where i'm meant to be

Her stomach began to growl as a delicious smell wafted into the room. She got dressed quickly and remembered Glenn's breakfast suggestion. Someone was making pancakes and they smelled more amazing that anything she could remember.

Checking herself in the mirror and taking a deep breath, Carol made her way downstairs. The giggles got louder as she descended the stairs and she was greeted with the beautiful sight of Carl Grimes slowly chasing after his toddling little sister.

"Mornin, sleep alright?" Rick met her at the bottom of the stairs with a glass of orange juice in hand.

She gratefully accepted the glass and savoured every drop, "I couldn't sleep on the bed, it was way too soft," Rick merely nodded in understanding, "once I moved to the floor I slept like a rock though."

"It gets easier the safer you feel," Glenn added, "it'll take a while but you'll adjust."

He gave her a quick arm squeeze and guided her into the kitchen where Sasha and Tara were making pancakes.

"Daryl got some bacon from Olivia this morning. There's not a lot left, but he traded for some rabbits," Michonne announced as she entered the room with a smiling Judith in her arms. The little girl was rosy-cheeked and all giggles as her big brother tickled her feet.

Carol's stomach let out a loud growl at the smell of bacon, "Bacon and pancakes? Are you serious?"

Sasha laughed and handed her a plate with some already cooked bacon, "help yourself, it's heaven."

Carol had never heard a more accurate description in her life, "this is the single greatest piece of bacon I've ever had in my entire life."

"Hope you don't mind that I joined in for breakfast," Tara spoke up as she began plating up some pancakes, "I heard there was bacon and couldn't resist. Plus, you saved my life so I figured the absolute least I could do was help get you some decent food."

Carol gave the young woman a small hug, "If these guys consider you family, then I consider you family."

She was handed a squealing asskicker and Carol sat at the kitchen table playing patty-cake as breakfast was being laid out. She had offered her help numerous times, but they kept telling her to relax.

"Smells damn good in here," Daryl walked into the kitchen and gave asskicker a little kiss on the head. He sat down next to Carol and poured himself a glass of juice.

The entire family was here.

She watched as Glenn flicked a little bit of flour at Maggie and the two began to play fight. Carl and Sasha were laughing about something that Tara was doing and she noticed a quick kiss between Rick and Michonne before they joined the group at the table.

They all seemed so normal.

"Sleep ok? I can get ya more blankets or pillows, just let me know," Daryl was happily playing with asskicker, and she couldn't get over how much he had changed since she'd last seen him. He had changed, yet he was still the same. She always knew that he was a good man, even when he didn't see it in himself.

"It was fine, Pookie," She gave him a little wink and he nudged her shoulder in response, "might join you in that bed soon."

"Sounds good to me," his response was a bit of a shock. Usually their banter was one-sided because Daryl was absolutely horrible at flirting, which she had commented on numerous times. It seemed that he was opening up, and she was pretty sure she could get used to this side of Daryl Dixon.

The whole family was eating and laughing together and Carol loved every minute of it. She knew it wouldn't be long until they began asking questions but she didn't care. This was her family and she was finally starting to feel comfortable. She could tell that this place had been good to them and she really hoped that she could adapt the same way that they had.

"So, Carol, where'd you go?" The question came from Glenn and she was fully expecting it. He and Maggie had been having a silent conversation for the last few minutes, and she knew one of them would crack and start the questions. She could tell that the group wanted answers, and she knew that she owed them some explanation of her sudden departure after Terminus.

"Well, after Terminus I told Tyreese where to find you and headed back to the prison and the car that I left there," the group gave her their undivided attention as she started to tell her tale of the last year.

"I actually headed back to the farm," she gave Maggie a small smile, "the farmhouse is still there. There's a bit of fire damage that must've spread from the barn, but it's still standing. I went to talk to Sophia for a bit and stayed for a few nights before taking off again."

She felt Daryl squeeze her hand the second she mentioned Sophia's name. She knew that he still felt guilty about not finding her, though she would never blame him for that. Sophia had died not long after running into the woods, she knew that now and had long gotten over her anger.

There was no escaping fate.

"I found a few communities along the way, but most of the houses were wiped out already and places like that seemed to attract other survivors. I wasn't exactly in the mindset to try and join another group after everything I saw at Terminus, so I just kept wandering."

Her mind drifted back to the time on the road and she hoped that she'd never have to go through that again. She was tough. She was a survivor, but now that she knew that for sure, she didn't need to test it again.

"I just drifted from one place to the next. I was with a small group for about a month, but it went bad and I tried to avoid other groups after that. I didn't meet anyone else until a few of weeks ago when a few guys found me sleeping in a car," she removed her bandage to show off the checkmark shaped scar that was stitched up on her forehead, "that's where I got this lovely parting gift."

She immediately noticed Daryl stiffen next to her and gave him a small smile as she continued.

* * *

She had found an abandoned car near the edge of the woods that would be her refuge for the night. The small housing development where she had spent her last few nights had attracted some unwanted guests during the day, so she made her escape on foot.

The few sluggish walkers near the car were easily taken out and she hoped that the smell would keep any other stragglers away while she slept.

Carol was wakened by the tap of a gun against the window, and she immediately went on edge. She grabbed her gun and scrambled out of the car into fighting stance. The man in front of her simply smirked and gestured to the other side of the car where three more men were standing.

"Hey there sweetheart, why don't you put that little gun down," the smirking man moved towards her and she stumbled backwards towards the treeline.

The four men had crudely carved Ws on their foreheads and they looked rough, they wouldn't go down easily. Her brain was screaming, but she knew that she'd have to go with them.

 _Play the part. Act weak, and then strike._

She raised her hands and slowly lowered her gun as the other men advanced.

One of the men kicked at the body of a downed walker, "Seems like a fighter."

"Think we need to bring this one back," a man with a semi-automatic grabbed her arm and started to push her along as the men all spoke about bringing her back to their camp.

As they were walking the men told her that she'd make a great addition to their group once she 'learned their ways'.

Apparently this group was in debt to some madman named Negan who would protect them if they did everything that he wanted. One of these things was finding strong women to "repopulate the new world", which they decided she would be good for. They had learned how to manipulate the dead to help them kill the living and had taken out many small camps of survivors who were too weak to join their new world.

The longer they talked the more she knew she was going to kill every single one of them. These were not good people.

It wasn't long before she could see cars in the distance. If they managed to get her in a car, she'd be doomed and she knew it. She couldn't take on all four at once, so she needed to do something that would split up the men.

She was distracted by her own thoughts and as her captor yanked on her arm she stumbled and fell to the ground, causing the man that was holding her to trip as well, "son of a bitch!"

With a well-placed kick, she heard that crunch of his nose and started to scramble backwards, but the others were on her too fast.

"She's feisty," the black-haired man grabbed her shoulders, "think we need to teach her a lesson before we get back."

"Negan will like this one. We should mark her now. Maybe that'll calm her down a bit."

Carol was still sitting on the ground, but began thrashing around in his grasp. This was not going to end well if she didn't come up with something soon.

The man with the broken nose came towards her, "maybe the bitch'll pass out like the last one did," he spit some blood into her face and chuckled before grabbing his knife and pushing her to the ground, "now you behave, or I'll shoot ya with your own gun."

He waved her handgun in her face before sticking it in his belt. He was sitting on her legs, but she didn't panic. She needed to seem weak so they would drop their guard.

The tears weren't hard to fake once the knife touched her forehead. She started to sob as their laughter grew louder and noticed one of the men slip away towards the cars. Crying women seemed to make him uncomfortable. The other two were watching with a sick fascination as her head was being mangled.

She went limp once she felt the knife change direction and begin its upwards cut, and the man stilled, "Jesus! She didn't last long!"

They laughter began again and Carol tried to even her breathing as she waited for her moment, "No fun if she ain't awake. Hurry up and finish it off, I'll go with Tom and get the cars ready."

Two down, two to go.

"Gonna take a piss, man," this was almost too easy. Apparently it took basic acting to fool these geniuses, and once they thought she was out she was no threat at all. Their interest in her plummeted the second she went quiet and still.

When the footsteps were in the distance, she struck. Her hand shot up, grabbed his wrist and shoved the knife into his neck with every ounce of strength in her body. She grabbed her gun, but had no time to grab any of the man's other weaponry.

He screamed and she ran. A barrage of bullets following close behind.

Her legs were moving as fast as possible, but she didn't dare to slow down or even look back. She could still hear the gunfire coming from the road and she knew that they wouldn't give up very easily. Periodically wiping the blood from her head, she kept moving until her legs were threatening to collapse beneath her.

Once she could no longer hear their yells or gunfire, she took in her surroundings. Her backpack was back in her not-so-safe car where she had spent the night and she only had three bullets and her knife. She immediately removed her knife from her boot and clipped it back onto her belt, she felt safer when it was within reach.

She ripped her cardigan and tied a small piece around her head. The adrenaline had long worn off and she had a massive headache to go along with her aching legs. She made a detour and utilizing all of the tracking skills that Daryl had once taught her, she hid her tracks well and went back to the abandoned car in the hopes that the men had long since taken off.

With no one in sight, she grabbed her pack and began her long trek to nowhere, but made sure it was in the exact opposite direction of where the men were headed.

The woods became her friend, and small caves became her safe-houses. Being close to the road was too dangerous and she wouldn't make that mistake again.

It was about three weeks of walking, hunting, and barely sleeping before she came across Aaron and Eric fighting for their lives.

* * *

She stopped her story at the dumbfounded looks that appeared on the faces surrounding her.

"Ws? On their heads?"

"You sure you're ok?"

"Sounds like the wolves."

"How far away was this?"

"Were they heading this way?"

She lost count of the rambling questions from her family, but from the intense conversations now starting around the table, she knew that something was off.

"We need to get Morgan and Deanna over right away," Rick was on his feet with his walkie-talkie in his hand and calling the others before she could even get a word in.

"Me and Aaron got caught in one of the traps that the wolves set up, and our friend Morgan got us out of it. He met a couple of them while he was on his own too," Daryl placed a hand on her shoulder to explain the sudden upheaval, "they're why we've been building up the walls and training everyone so hard."

Of course there was a threat. There was always a threat.

She knew the walls would protect them for a while. But there were always ways for the darkness to get in, and she was going to do everything in her power to protect this place.

She had just gotten her family back and she wasn't about to let that slip through her fingers again. This must be why Deanna was so willing to accept her into the community even before she knew about her ties to Daryl and the whole Grimes gang.

Deanna needed protection. She needed people who were willing to do whatever it took to keep this place safe, and she had seen this in Carol. Killing people happened in this new world, and it was something you needed to be able to do in order to survive. When someone threatened your life or the lives of your family you needed to be able to do whatever it took to save them.

Deanna and Morgan, along with the new members of Carol's family – Rosita, Abe, Eugene, Aaron and Eric - were at the house in mere minutes. They apparently hadn't heard of the wolves since the trap, but Aaron had left pictures of the walled community behind after their escape. Just like the pictures that had convinced Carol to take a chance.

"We need to know everything that you know about these people," Rick had led her into the living room where everyone was gathered, "this is our home now, and we need to make sure it stays safe," he gave her an understanding look, "no matter what."

The last time she had acted on her own to take out a threat, she had been banished. Now it seemed that Rick understood what needed to happen.

Carol looked around at all of the anxious faces and realized that this was fate.

She had tried to protect them once, and had acted hastily which ended in distrust.

Then she had protected them again, but was not ready to face the possible rejection or to watch anyone else she loved die.

Now was the time to make everything right. She had her family, she had walls, she had food, and she had trust.

Daryl stood next to her and laced his fingers through hers as she retold her short encounter with the wolves. She included every detail that she could remember about how the men acted and any hints that they may have dropped about their future endeavours.

They didn't have much to go on, but any bit would help them build their defences.

After strategizing well into the night, Alexandria would have some new protocols in place within the next few days. They would be preparing new traps for walkers and humans alike, and getting emergency plans for every part of the town in case of a breach.

* * *

As she climbed into bed that night she didn't think about the softness of the mattress, or the fact that she was going to sleep full, warm and clean. Her mind stayed on the man that was sitting on the edge of the bed.

He hadn't left her side once today and she couldn't have been happier. His intermittent hand squeezing and light touches had gotten her though an emotional day of reliving the last year of her life.

"If those bastards dare'n come here, I think we'll be ready for 'em. They wont know what hit 'em."

"We've learned from our mistakes," she thought back to the prison and could still picture the burning wreckage in her mind. Every place they had come across had been destroyed, but they had survived, and they had learned, "we'll get through this too."

Daryl climbed under the covers and scooted closer to Carol.

"You sure this is alright?" he mumbled as he pulled her into an embrace.

That was the Daryl she remembered. Always so insecure about intimate moments. She wrapped her arms about his middle as they lay face to face and placed a small, light kiss on his lips, "it's perfect."

"Still trying?"

She smiled at him and nodded, "nothing's taking me away from you again."

The loneliness had passed and determination had taken its place. She was going to try and fit in here. She was going to protect these people that she called her family and only death itself would stop her from spending every night next to this man.

She had never really believed in soulmates, but that was the only way she could describe Daryl Dixon. Together since the beginning of this new world, they had gone through countless ups and downs, yet always found their way back to each other.

They were each other's person, a constant that would always be like a beacon pointing home. That's where she was now, home, and no one was going to take this place from her.

Just let them try.

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I feel like it ends a little strange, but I hope you like it! I may write a sequel about the wolves showing up eventually


End file.
